just got back from chalet today. slept like just 3 and a half hours during the chalet. really super the tired. i nearly fell asleep on the mrt standing up. but everything was so much fun haha!
learned a tiny little bit of mahjong. hahah i got the beginner's luck so my tiles was good. (maybe because of the sitting arrangement also) Went bowling too. hahah i got a super the low score la! 33 hahaha but had fun la.
haiz everything went a little bit more complicated on the first night... they played Truth or Dare.... of all the games in the world, they had to play that... now everything is like awkward. i really dunno wat should i do. was feeling really depressed duuring the thing. pissed by the way some of them tried to force answers out of others.
called renhui on the next day. i really missed my sec 4 clique like mad... sometimesi tear up just thinking of them. they are like family to me already. and they had a gathering at vivocity on monday..... i told them everything and suddenly i started to cry. oh my god it is like so embarrasssing. was like sitting on a slide hahaha. ya then there were people that was walking past to get to the pool. hahah
and obsessive stalker, a.k.a. os has irritated me from the start of the whole chalet. and i trust my instincts that she likes him. hahah maybe it is my jealous mind working overtime. she is like two diff pple. when the guys are around, she is like super talkative and animated. then the moment the guys leave, she totally dun talk. irritating woman. then you can see that she is following him like bees are attracted to honey. damn it i am getting all jealous again.
this is a period of time that my confidence reaches a new low. i am like so scared that i will go back to my depression day. that was horrifying! the thoughts that go on in your mind is so haunting.... persuading you to hurt yourself..... just to avoid facing the reality....
maybe i am ill-suited to like someone. i dunno. i always sounds so desperate.... but why? i crave every ounce of love and attention i can get.... hahahah i am a weird person...
